OK Girls!!! It is time for me to share my heart with you guys and call on my angels! It might be a little long, so bear with me!
If you haven’t noticed already I have some serious weight to lose. I have been struggling SOO much with my weight and have felt totally overwhelmed by the shear amount of poundage I have allowed myself to gain. Over the last several years I have just given up on taking care of me and now it is time to get serious and get busy.
I have been contemplating weight loss surgery. Dan and I have attended the seminar, done all the research, and though we have been hesitant it just seemed like that was the best option to help get me started down this journey. Because I have over a hundred pounds to lose (that was VERY HARD FOR ME TO SAY) my doctors agreed this was the path I should pursue. We’ve been praying about it, I’ve shared this with only a few other people asking for their prayers, and we’ve started down the path to get the approval. The procedure I wanted to have done is a relatively new procedure and requires special insurance approval. I felt very peaceful about this choice and our prayers have been if this is God’s plan for me then the insurance would be approved with no problems. Well yesterday I got my second letter denying the surgery. So with the door shut on me twice I was pretty sure God was saying “Nope – this isn’t it”, but there is always that little flutter of doubt because I felt so at peace about the decision. After talking to Dan about my choices, decisions, and directions we left it at we are just going to pray about this for a few days and see how God speaks to us. I had one of my WONDERFUL long conversations with Renee that was similar to what Dan and I had decided and we just all decided to set out down a path of prayer. SOOOO with all of us praying for me some answers and peace… now comes the goose bumps.
Renee and I met for a bite to eat this morning at Celebrity. We were winding down and about to get up to leave but got side-tracked talking (imagine that with us) one of the ladies that works there came over to see how we liked everything. I commented how good everything was and how I couldn’t work there b/c I’d gain more weight and I needed to lose not gain. Out of the blue she said, “Oh you can do it, I just lost over 200lbs, so you can do it!” I inquired how she had done it and she said watching what she ate and exercise, she weighed 410lbs when she delivered her son – she knew she didn’t want to be the fat mom in kindergarten so she set out down the path to lose the weight. She went on and on about how you can do it with diet and exercise, you are smart and beautiful – you can do it. Renee told her that it was funny she had come over because we were just talking about that and had really been looking for some direction. I told the lady I had recently decided to do weight loss surgery but the procedure I wanted to have done had been turned down by the insurance so I was a little lost right now. She asked what procedure – I told her the VSG and she looked me square in the eyes and said “That is not what you should do, my friend died from that procedure”. After the goose bumps and the tears, I knew that God could not have been clearer if He had mailed me a letter (well I guess He did – 2 insurance denials) that was not what He wanted me to do!
So now is where my angels come in. I need YOUR HELP!!! I need prayer warriors, I need a walking buddy or exercise partner, I need an encourager; I need someone to keep me accountable until I can trust myself. I need ANYTHING, big or small, that you can offer to help me succeed. Nathan starts Kindergarten in 8 months and I don’t want to be the fat mom in his class. I want to send out my Christmas cards next year and not be embarrassed to have my picture on the card. I want to wake up in the morning and see the beautiful person that my husband married 11 years ago, instead of this fat slob I’ve allowed the devil to encourage me to be. I want to be able to go shopping with a friend and not be embarrassed to buy more than a pair of socks b/c I know nothing will fit me from a store. I’m taking a new approach, instead of trying to fight the battle on my own I want to surround myself with people that will lift me up and help keep me going. I will not be discouraged if I have a cheat meal, but I will know that the next meal is a fresh start so I’ll do better. I will not let the devil tell me I don’t deserve to look as beautiful as my friends; I will focus on glorifying God with my body, making His temple a place worthy of residing!
So how fired up are you? God has called me to you so that I can surrender myself to Him with some of the Godliest women I know. Lots of hugs, kisses, and thanks beforehand! When the weight is off we will bring the house down with Celebration!!!
I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Philippians 3:12
Love you all and look forward to winning together!
Bev
